diff --git a/pkgs/top-level/metrics.nix b/pkgs/top-level/metrics.nix
index c6ff0f349313..c6380b74a667 100644
--- a/pkgs/top-level/metrics.nix
+++ b/pkgs/top-level/metrics.nix
@@ -1,27 +1,49 @@
 { nixpkgs, pkgs }:
 
-with pkgs;
+let
+  inherit (pkgs) lib stdenvNoCC;
+  evalSystem = "x86_64-linux";
+in
+
+stdenvNoCC.mkDerivation {
+  name = "nixpkgs-metrics";
+
+  # Use structured attrs to pass in relevant information.
+  __structuredAttrs = true;
+  inherit evalSystem nixpkgs;
+
+  outputs = [
+    "out"
+    "raw"
+  ];
+
+  nativeBuildInputs = map lib.getBin [
+    pkgs.nixVersions.latest
+    pkgs.time
+    pkgs.jq
+  ];
+
+  # see https://github.com/NixOS/nixpkgs/issues/52436
+  #requiredSystemFeatures = [ "benchmark" ]; # dedicated `t2a` machine, by @vcunat
+
+  # Required because this derivation doesn't have a `src`.
+  dontUnpack = true;
+
+  configurePhase = ''
+    runHook preConfigure
 
-runCommand "nixpkgs-metrics"
-  {
-    nativeBuildInputs =
-      with pkgs.lib;
-      map getBin [
-        nix
-        time
-        jq
-      ];
-    # see https://github.com/NixOS/nixpkgs/issues/52436
-    #requiredSystemFeatures = [ "benchmark" ]; # dedicated `t2a` machine, by @vcunat
-  }
-  ''
     export NIX_STORE_DIR=$TMPDIR/store
     export NIX_STATE_DIR=$TMPDIR/state
     export NIX_PAGER=
     nix-store --init
 
-    mkdir -p $out/nix-support
-    touch $out/nix-support/hydra-build-products
+    runHook postConfigure
+  '';
+
+  buildPhase = ''
+    runHook preBuild
+
+    release="$nixpkgs/nixos/release.nix"
 
     run() {
       local name="$1"
@@ -29,58 +51,172 @@ runCommand "nixpkgs-metrics"
 
       echo "running $@"
 
-      case "$name" in
-        # Redirect stdout to /dev/null to avoid hitting "Output Limit
-        # Exceeded" on Hydra.
-        nix-env.qaDrv|nix-env.qaDrvAggressive)
-          NIX_SHOW_STATS=1 NIX_SHOW_STATS_PATH=stats-nix time -o stats-time "$@" >/dev/null ;;
-        *)
-          NIX_SHOW_STATS=1 NIX_SHOW_STATS_PATH=stats-nix time -o stats-time "$@" ;;
-      esac
+      mkdir -p "metrics/$name"
+      local output="metrics/$name/output"
+      local nix_stats="metrics/$name/nix-stats.json"
+      local time_stats="metrics/$name/time-stats.json"
 
-      cat stats-nix; echo; cat stats-time; echo
+      NIX_SHOW_STATS=1 NIX_SHOW_STATS_PATH="$nix_stats" command time -o "$time_stats" -- "$@" > "$output"
 
-      x=$(jq '.cpuTime' < stats-nix)
-      [[ -n $x ]] || exit 1
-      echo "$name.time $x s" >> $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
+      # Show the Nix statistics and the `time` statistics.
+      echo "Nix statistics for $@"
+      jq . "$nix_stats"
+      echo
+      echo "Time statistics for $@"
+      jq . "$time_stats"
+      echo
 
-      x=$(sed -e 's/.* \([0-9]\+\)maxresident.*/\1/ ; t ; d' < stats-time)
-      [[ -n $x ]] || exit 1
-      echo "$name.maxresident $x KiB" >> $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
+      cpuTime="$(jq '.cpuTime' < "$nix_stats")"
+      [[ -n $cpuTime ]] || exit 1
+      echo "$name.time $cpuTime s" >> hydra-metrics
 
-      # nix-2.2 also outputs .symbols.bytes but that wasn't summed originally
-      # https://github.com/NixOS/nix/pull/2392/files#diff-8e6ba8c21672fc1a5f6f606e1e101c74L1762
-      x=$(jq '[.envs,.list,.values,.sets] | map(.bytes) | add' < stats-nix)
-      [[ -n $x ]] || exit 1
-      echo "$name.allocations $x B" >> $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
+      maxresident="$(jq '.max_resident_set_kb' < "$time_stats")"
+      [[ -n $maxresident ]] || exit 1
+      echo "$name.maxresident $maxresident KiB" >> hydra-metrics
 
-      x=$(jq '.values.number' < stats-nix)
-      [[ -n $x ]] || exit 1
-      echo "$name.values $x" >> $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
+      # Nix also outputs `.symbols.bytes` but since that wasn't summed originally, we don't count it here.
+      allocations="$(jq '[.envs,.list,.values,.sets] | map(.bytes) | add' < "$nix_stats")"
+      [[ -n $allocations ]] || exit 1
+      echo "$name.allocations $allocations B" >> hydra-metrics
+
+      values="$(jq '.values.number' < "$nix_stats")"
+      [[ -n $values ]] || exit 1
+      echo "$name.values $values" >> hydra-metrics
     }
 
-    run nixos.smallContainer nix-instantiate --dry-run ${nixpkgs}/nixos/release.nix \
-      -A closures.smallContainer.x86_64-linux --show-trace
-    run nixos.kde nix-instantiate --dry-run ${nixpkgs}/nixos/release.nix \
-      -A closures.kde.x86_64-linux --show-trace
-    run nixos.lapp nix-instantiate --dry-run ${nixpkgs}/nixos/release.nix \
-      -A closures.lapp.x86_64-linux --show-trace
-    run nix-env.qa nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa
-    run nix-env.qaDrv nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa --drv-path --meta --xml
+    run nixos.smallContainer nix-instantiate --option eval-system "$evalSystem" --dry-run "$release" -A closures.smallContainer.x86_64-linux --show-trace --no-gc-warning
+    run nixos.kde nix-instantiate --option eval-system "$evalSystem" --dry-run "$release" -A closures.kde.x86_64-linux --show-trace --no-gc-warning
+    run nixos.lapp nix-instantiate --option eval-system "$evalSystem" --dry-run "$release" -A closures.lapp.x86_64-linux --show-trace --no-gc-warning
+    run nix-env.qa nix-env --option eval-system "$evalSystem" -f "$nixpkgs" -qa
+    run nix-env.qaDrv nix-env --option eval-system "$evalSystem" -f "$nixpkgs" -qa --drv-path --meta --json
 
     # It's slightly unclear which of the set to track: qaCount, qaCountDrv, qaCountBroken.
-    num=$(nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa | wc -l)
-    echo "nix-env.qaCount $num" >> $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
-    qaCountDrv=$(nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa --drv-path | wc -l)
-    num=$((num - $qaCountDrv))
-    echo "nix-env.qaCountBroken $num" >> $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
+    num="$(wc -l < metrics/nix-env.qa/output)"
+    echo "nix-env.qaCount $num" >> hydra-metrics
+    qaCountDrv="$(jq -r 'reduce .[].drvPath as $d (0; .+1)' metrics/nix-env.qaDrv/output)"
+    numBroken="$((num - $qaCountDrv))"
+    echo "nix-env.qaCountBroken $numBroken" >> hydra-metrics
 
-    # TODO: this has been ignored for some time
-    # GC Warning: Bad initial heap size 128k - ignoring it.
-    #export GC_INITIAL_HEAP_SIZE=128k
-    run nix-env.qaAggressive nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa
-    run nix-env.qaDrvAggressive nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa --drv-path --meta --xml
+    lines="$(find "$nixpkgs" -name "*.nix" -type f -print0 | xargs -0 cat | wc -l)"
+    echo "loc $lines" >> hydra-metrics
 
-    lines=$(find ${nixpkgs} -name "*.nix" -type f | xargs cat | wc -l)
-    echo "loc $lines" >> $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
-  ''
+    runHook postBuild
+  '';
+
+  installPhase = ''
+    runHook preInstall
+
+    mkdir -p $out/nix-support
+    touch $out/nix-support/hydra-build-products
+    mv hydra-metrics $out/nix-support/hydra-metrics
+
+    # Save and compress the raw output
+    mv metrics $raw
+    xz -v $raw/*/output
+
+    runHook postInstall
+  '';
+
+  meta = {
+    description = "Metrics tracked by Hydra about Nixpkgs";
+    homepage = "https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics";
+    longDescription = ''
+      View the metrics for Nixpkgs evaluation over time at these URLs.
+
+      These are all produced from running `nix` with `NIX_SHOW_STATS=1`.
+      See `EvalState::printStatistics` in the Nix source code for the implementation.
+      None of these metrics are inherently meaningful on their own.
+      Exercise caution in interpreting them as "bad" or "good".
+
+      # Total repository statistics
+
+      - [Lines of code in Nixpkgs](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/loc)
+      - [Count of broken packages using `nix-env -qa`](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qaCountBroken)
+      - [Count of packages using `nix-env -qa`](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qaCount)
+
+      # Statistics about representative commands
+
+      These are statistics gathered by running commands against Nixpkgs.
+
+      | Name | Command |
+      |------|---------|
+      | `nix-env.qaDrv` | `nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa --drv-path --meta --json` |
+      | `nix-env.qa` | `nix-env -f ${nixpkgs} -qa` |
+      | `nixos.kde` | `nix-instantiate --dry-run ${nixpkgs}/nixos/release.nix -A closures.kde.x86_64-linux --show-trace` |
+      | `nixos.lapp` | `nix-instantiate --dry-run ${nixpkgs}/nixos/release.nix -A closures.lapp.x86_64-linux --show-trace` |
+      | `nixos.smallContainer` | `nix-instantiate --dry-run ${nixpkgs}/nixos/release.nix -A closures.smallContainer.x86_64-linux --show-trace`|
+
+      ## Allocations performed (in bytes)
+
+      This counts `envs.bytes`, `list.bytes`, `values.bytes`, and `sets.bytes` from the Nix statistics.
+
+      - [nix-env.qa.allocations](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qa.allocations)
+      - [nix-env.qaDrv.allocations](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qaDrv.allocations)
+      - [nixos.kde.allocations](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.kde.allocations)
+      - [nixos.lapp.allocations](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.lapp.allocations)
+      - [nixos.smallContainer.allocations](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.smallContainer.allocations)
+
+      ## Maximum resident size (in number of KiB)
+
+      This counts `maxresident` KiB (`%M`) from the `time` command on Linux.
+
+      - [nix-env.qa.maxresident](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qa.maxresident)
+      - [nix-env.qaDrv.maxresident](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qaDrv.maxresident)
+      - [nixos.kde.maxresident](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.kde.maxresident)
+      - [nixos.lapp.maxresident](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.lapp.maxresident)
+      - [nixos.smallContainer.maxresident](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.smallContainer.maxresident)
+
+      ## Time taken (in seconds)
+
+      This counts `cpuTime` as reported in the Nix statistics. On Linux, this resolves to [`getrusage(RUSAGE_SELF)`](https://man7.org/linux/man-pages/man2/getrusage.2.html).
+
+      - [nix-env.qa.time](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qa.time)
+      - [nix-env.qaDrv.time](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qaDrv.time)
+      - [nixos.kde.time](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.kde.time)
+      - [nixos.lapp.time](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.lapp.time)
+      - [nixos.smallContainer.time](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.smallContainer.time)
+
+      ## Number of values
+
+      This counts the total number of values allocated in Nix (see `EvalState::allocValue` in the Nix source code).
+
+      - [nix-env.qa.values](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qa.values)
+      - [nix-env.qaDrv.values](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nix-env.qaDrv.values)
+      - [nixos.kde.values](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.kde.values)
+      - [nixos.lapp.values](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.lapp.values)
+      - [nixos.smallContainer.values](https://hydra.nixos.org/job/nixpkgs/trunk/metrics/metric/nixos.smallContainer.values)
+    '';
+  };
+
+  # Convince `time` to output in JSON
+  env.TIME = builtins.toJSON {
+    real_time = "%e";
+    user_time = "%U";
+    sys_time = "%S";
+    cpu_percent = "%P";
+    max_resident_set_kb = "%M";
+    avg_resident_set_kb = "%t";
+    avg_total_mem_kb = "%K";
+    avg_data_kb = "%D";
+    avg_stack_kb = "%p";
+    avg_unshared_data_kb = "%X";
+    avg_shared_text_kb = "%Z";
+    page_faults_major = "%F";
+    page_faults_minor = "%R";
+    swaps = "%W";
+    context_switches_voluntary = "%c";
+    context_switches_involuntary = "%w";
+    io_reads = "%I";
+    io_writes = "%O";
+    signals_received = "%k";
+    exit_status = "%x";
+    command = "%C";
+  };
+
+  # Don't allow aliases anywhere in Nixpkgs for the metrics.
+  env.NIXPKGS_CONFIG = builtins.toFile "nixpkgs-config.nix" ''
+    {
+      allowAliases = false;
+    }
+  '';
+}